Why You Matter More Than Your Expertise

As we enter another year, many of us find ourselves setting intentions and making resolutions. But what truly drives lasting change? A recent conversation with my family revealed some insights about confidence, courage, and the growth journey.

This New Year's Eve, I had the joy of spending time with my 19-year-old daughter and one of her childhood friends. Before we went to bed (well before midnight), I asked everyone's 2025 intentions. One theme that emerged was gaining more confidence.

I shared the idea that confidence isn't an intention but rather the result of action. The more steps we take, the more confident we become. To experience confidence, we must first have the courage to take those steps.

A few days later, while talking with my son in Scotland, he shared how he's finding greater confidence performing on stage – confidence that he truly belongs there. We discussed a concept I often teach my students:

Before we begin something new, we're unconsciously incompetent. We don't know what we don't know.

When we start engaging with this new thing, we become consciously incompetent. We now understand what we don't know.

As we continue practicing, we become consciously competent. We're aware of what we now know.

Finally, when we master something, we reach unconscious competence. It flows naturally, almost effortlessly.

I've experienced this journey myself as a facilitator. I remember my first day in front of a classroom, acutely aware of everything I didn't know about engaging learners and managing a room. Each session taught me something new, and gradually, the nervousness transformed into natural confidence. Now, decades later, I can host a workshop without consciously thinking about the fundamentals – they've become second nature.

My son believes he's reached a certain degree of conscious competence on stage while recognizing that new challenges will reset this journey.

Throughout these learning steps, one factor encourages us to take that first step and keeps us from giving up: courage. It's the courage to step out of our comfort zones despite uncertainty and to remain tenacious when facing the first, second, or third hurdle—the courage to proceed without knowing all the answers.

This courage builds a powerful mindset: I matter. Despite what I don't know, I matter; taking risks is worth it.

What step have you been hesitating to take? Remember, confidence doesn't precede action – it follows it. What small action could you take today, knowing that you matter and that every expert was once a beginner?