Why "I Matter" Matters

The Voices in Our Heads: Owning Your Significance

The voices in our heads can be our harshest critics or our most profound teachers. These internal dialogues often whisper a haunting question for women navigating midlife: "Do I truly matter?"

A recent psychological study revealed a startling insight: 70% of women in their 40s grapple with persistent self-doubt—a staggering number that underscores the universal nature of our internal struggles. These voices are more than mere background noise; they're complex narratives that shape our understanding of self-worth.

The Landscape of Inner Dialogue

We all have those little voices. Sometimes, they sound like a worried friend, always seeking approval. Other times, they echo a doubtful parent, questioning our capabilities. We might label them people-pleasers, perfectionists, or imposters, but beneath their varied personas lies a common thread: a whispered uncertainty about whether "I Matter."

The 3-C Reframe Formula: The Path of Self-Compassion

I've developed a powerful technique to help you navigate these inner dialogues: the 3-C Reframe Formula. This approach provides a structured way to acknowledge, address, and transform your inner critic.

Catch It: Acknowledge your inner voices without judgment

Example: "I hear the imposter saying I'm not enough."

Compassionate Response: Respond with kindness

Example: "It is hard to feel inadequate. I know I am not alone; many face this struggle."

Change Direction: Reframe the message

Example: "I am doing my best and am not attached to perfection. These feelings are natural steps in my growth."

Personal Journeys of Struggle and Revelation

Moments of crisis often unveil our deepest insecurities. My own journey has been marked by profound experiences that crystallized the importance of mattering.

In the hospital, watching my daughter drink charcoal after a suicide attempt, her eyes reflected the pain of feeling worthless. I was devastated, desperately wanting her to understand her immeasurable value. In that moment, I realized how critical it is to help others recognize their inherent worth.

Similarly, during my second husband's final days with cancer, I witnessed his anguish about an unresolved relationship with his child. The pain of believing he didn't matter was palpable—a stark reminder of how deeply we yearn for significance.

Embracing Your Worth in Midlife

To the vibrant women between 35-50: Midlife is not a waiting room—it's your launchpad. You have approximately 2,000 weeks from age 38 onwards. That's 14,000 days to own "I Matter" and impact the world.

This is not about adding more pressure but releasing the weight of undefined expectations. It's time to prioritize yourself, to stop fixing and start impacting. If not now, when?

An Invitation to Community

This blog marks the beginning of a powerful journey. Together, we can create a community of empowered midlife women who recognize their worth and live unapologetically from a place of "I Matter."

My quest is simple yet profound: to remind you that you matter. Your presence makes a difference. It's time to own it.

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About the Author: Leslie Allen is a certified coach who empowers midlife women. With over 30 years of experience and a personal journey of self-discovery, Leslie is passionate about guiding women to own their significance and impact.

Recommended Reading:

• Smith, J. (2023). "Self-Worth in Midlife Women: A Comprehensive Study"
• Burkeman, O. (2021). "Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals"