People Do Well If They Can

I wake up highly motivated every morning to craft the perfect social media post. Yet, by noon, after hours of frustration, I'm ready to throw in the towel, feeling defeated. The problem isn't my drive—it's my skill set.

Growing up, we're conditioned to believe that simply trying harder will solve our challenges. "Just focus," my parents and teachers would tell me.  And I would follow their advice and try, believing this would magically improve my grades. But the reality was far more nuanced. What if the issue wasn't about effort but needing help developing study skills aligned with my unique learning style?  What if the problem was that the adults in my world did not recognize that I learned differently?  What if what worked for my sister did not work for me?

Reading Seth Godin's "The Practice" has been transformative. Goal setting, contrary to popular belief, is easy. It's merely declaring the direction you want to pursue. The real challenge lies in the practice—the steps, the method, the consistent approach to moving toward those goals.

The profound insight is this: It's not a lack of motivation holding us back, but a lack of skills in establishing an effective practice. We aren't failing because something is wrong with us but because we don't know how to navigate our path. This challenge can be even more complex for neurodivergent individuals who may process and approach tasks differently.

There's humility in acknowledging that you don't know how to proceed. Being stuck isn't a personal failure—it's a signal that there is something you need to learn. The first step in creating a meaningful practice is asking: What skills do I need to develop? How can I approach this differently? Where can I seek help? In a world that constantly preaches "work harder" and "get motivated," these questions take courage to ask.

A critical aspect of this journey is tailoring skills to your unique learning style. What works brilliantly for one person may completely miss the mark for another. Recognizing and embracing your unique approach is key to developing an effective practice.

The actual achievement isn't reaching the goal—it's becoming the person who develops a practice that consistently moves you forward. It's about shifting our perspective from pure motivation to skill acquisition.

When someone is struggling—be it yourself or others—pause before criticizing their motivation. Instead, recognize that the real barrier might be a skill deficit waiting to be addressed.  

Watch this interview with Dr. Stuart Ablon and Mel Robbins to hear more